My Beautiful Song

I’ve been waiting too long for someone to come along,
Well I’ve been waiting too long for someone to come along.
Now I see you here, would you be my beautiful song.

I’ve been waiting alone, for someone to take me home
Yea, I’ve been waiting alone for someone to take me home.
Would you take my hand and be my beautiful song.

Until you were here, I was barely holding on
Well until you were here, I was barely holding on.
Now would you give me some lovin’ and be my beautiful song.

Now that you’re here, I tell you nothing is wrong.
Well now that you’re here, I tell you nothing is wrong.
Would you set the world right and be my beautiful song.

Crying Blues

I spend day and night crying for you,
Well I spend day and night in the blues.
Oh you gave me the blues baby, nothing gonna do me no good.

I try to feel you right next to me,
Oh I try to feel you right next to me.
Well I try to hold your hand, there’s nothing but the cold air there.

I sit and tremble alone girl,
Yeah, I sit and tremble alone girl.
It gets so painful darling, I’m always out of my mind.

Well nothing can set me right now,
Well nothing can set me right now.
Things have been so crooked, girl since you’ve been gone.

Sun in your sky.

Try and change the world,
That’s your reason to be here.
Achieve all that can be achieved,
Justify the hope inside.

Bring forth the believer in your soul,
Don’t let the heart of your dreams grow old.
Take up old desires of the heart,
Complete those incomplete pieces of art.

Let the spirit never die,
Be the sun in your sky.
If you burn, you may cry,
Never hesitate to try.
Your problems are in your mind,
Better leave them all behind.
If you ever feel you’re falling,
Doesn’t mean you’re stalling.
Get up and start climbing,
Be so bright, you’re blinding.

Let the spirit never die,
Be the sun in your sky.

How Long.

How long can I stay away?
How long can I do nothing?
I know there’ll be a time,
Every bit of me will scream,
Shout out loud to you,
Whisper those beautiful sweet words.

How long can I stay away?
How long can I ignore?
How long can I be satisfied,
Even when I don’t see you anywhere?

How long can I stay away?
How long can I sustain?
When will I cross my limit?
When will it be enough?
I wish I knew,
When my world would lead me to you.

Windows of Dawn.

Nobody that I’d want to know right now,
Nothing that could calm me right now.
I’m out of my mind,
And I could do with more than just
Another change in the sky.

And when the birds fly down,
Or the colours don’t shine,
Take me out through the windows of dawn.

The emptiness is frightening me now,
The void is such that I can’t be proud.
I’m out on the street,
And I could do with more than just
Another home to leave.

And when the trees go brown,
Or the voices aren’t loud,
Take me out through the windows of dawn

The Castle.

She’s clicking pictures
Of blue berry trees in the sky.
And the birds that are watching,
Are laughing at her,
‘cause the trees will all float away.


She’s writing stories
Of honey bells inside the cave.
And the trees that are floating,
Are looking down there,
Making sense of everything heavy.


And the letters that are rising
Are only too slow
They can’t be seen from the castle.


She’s making posters
For penguins and whales in the sea.
And the beaches are rising,
But what could be colder
Than feelings that don’t mean a thing.


She’s singing ballads
Of lions that want to be free.
And the flowers are swinging,
And quietly so,
They want the moon to be seen.


But the music that’s playing,
Is only too low,
It can’t be heard in the castle.


And she’s still creating,
In ever lasting peace,
Sitting alone in the castle.

Circle of Life

It doesn’t seem to mean too much,
You take it lightly.
Most parts of you aren’t even concerned.
But the next morning,
When your mind is clear,
The moments right after you’re up,
With complete emptiness in the mind,
That’s when it really sinks in.
As your mind looks for thoughts,
These moments are the one that start to fill,
What wasn’t so important last night,
Occupies this day.
What occupies this day,
Occupies the next and the week to follow.
And then the enormity hits you,
And it’s not just so light anymore.

Nights go by without any sleep,
And there are moments in some nights,
You try to stop thinking,
Try to control your thoughts,
Try not to be natural,
Just to get some sleep.
It all seems too much suddenly,
And there’s no respite.
You wish you’d done things differently.

Then it slowly eases out,
And you forget it,
And it’s all gone.
Then it happens all over again,
And you try to live it better,
That’s the circle of life.

Not too long from now.

Not too long from now,
We’d all just come here.
Stepped into these halls,
And everyone was new.
There were different faces then,
So many of them have gone.

Not too long from now,
Everything was strange.
We were very apprehensive,
Like children in the dark.
Getting used to the surroundings,
People and the doors.

Not too long from now,
We had said our goodbyes.
We had come to restart,
Explore life as grownups.
We were together in the change,
Standing up in the world.

Not too long from now,
We’ll be going off again.
Off to another world,
Another new way of life.
So many memories to keep,
And moments to bring them back.

Not too long from now,
Some words will be left unsaid.
Some hearts will ache for long,
Some eyes won’t dry for long.
And we’ll wake up each morning,
And realise everything has changed.

Not too long from now,
We’d all have gone our own ways.
Not too long from now,
We’ll all just long for these days.
Not too long from now,
When now isn’t too long.

The King is back.

Make way for the king,
He’s finally back.
He’s in pretty good shape,
He’s right on track.
He’s a lover, he’s a dreamer,
He’s a poet, he’s a painter.
And he can,
Make some music too.

He’s been gone too long,
Thought he was soul searchin’.
Only to see,
It was laziness lurking.
He’s a lover, he’s a dreamer,
He’s a poet, he’s a painter.
Well he can,
String ‘em blues too.

He’s been missin’ y’all,
His poems and prose.
So welcome him back,
He’s commin’ back home.
He’s a lover, he’s a dreamer,
He’s a poet, he’s a painter.
And well he’s,
Come back for you.

Blessed

I’m sorry for the lack of courage,
I’m sorry for the mental age.
I’ve wanted to speak but my lips won’t move,
I’m sorry for pretending to be so aloof.

And I feel so blessed to still see you.

Lost

I can almost see it going away,
I’m surrendering to the ways of the world.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way,
I was supposed to bend my world to me.
I was to follow my path,
Build one if it wasn’t there.
My arrogance has let me down,
My soul crunching bitterness,
It split the spirit in me.

Now I look back at me,
My alter ego stands in the distance,
Not laughing at me,
Not regretting my decisions,
It’s just as emotionless as me.
And I wonder,
And I don’t understand anything,
Would things have been different?
Would fulfilled dreams give me feelings?

Will the pointless ever make sense?
Will my loneliness ever satisfy me?
Will the exodus in me ever subside?
Will it ever rise?
Will the lazy impatience pay off?
The gifts they promised for monotony,
The thrills they said would follow me.
And if I followed them,
I would have lost me anyway.

My plans seem like jokes,
My dreams and their ambitions,
My image of me withers in the wind.
Maybe it’s the missing past,
Probably the hollow in my soul,
Maybe the faith that never dies,
It still remains just my faith.
I almost have everything I lost,
There isn’t much I’ve missed.

In this huge little world,
There have been a billion opinions,
Six billion to be a little more precise,
I tried giving mine a place,
I misplaced it right on top.
So did everybody else,
Their respective opinions.
I need to trust mine more,
And make sure it works.

It’s strange you know,
A huge paradox of sorts,
My action betrays my faith,
And my faith betrays what I do.
They have their own opinions too.
I don’t know where I belong,
I don’t know where to put myself.
I try to put me on top,
But I forget to start from the bottom.

Fake love, Real blues.

I had a girl,
And I loved her right.
She didn’t even care,
She was so uptight.
Said, I don’t give a damn,
What you feel for me.
I’ll break your heart,
It’s a thrill for me.
So I left her there,
In the middle of town.
She cried and told everyone,
I let her down.

Every time I see her,
I remember she hurt me.
But I control my temper,
She’s not even worth it.
Says, she’ll never love anyone,
Like she loved me.
I say, girl let me tell you,
You didn’t even love me.
I could see it always,
With every move you made.
It’s hard to believe,
You were really that fake.

War inside.

I will always feel this void,
The bits of life you took away,
I don’t know if I’ll ever have them,
Or if things will change even if I do.

But this feeling inside,
Every time I’m reminded.
Sends my temper shooting,
I could almost explode,
It’s like a war inside.

But there’s a bitter acceptance,
That I’ll never get it back.
I just have to live this way,
Though it’s not like I planned.

But this rage inside,
With all my pride,
Wants to fight with you,
And snatch it back.
But you won my time.

Oh, and this feeling inside,
Every time I’m reminded.
Sends my temper shooting,
I could almost explode,
It’s like a war inside.

I wish(to get it right)

I’m on a learning curve,
And I want to get to the straight,
And I want to get there fast,
I hope I don’t skid off.

But my imagination humbles my ability,
It always has.
I wish to learn enough to get it right.

This learning curve is different,
I’m focusing as hard as I can.
I feel I can do better,
But why is this so important?

It could be the time that it’s taking,
It always is.
I wish to be patient enough to get it right.

I need to get through this,
There’s more at stake this time.
I hope to take it across,
This responsibility on my shoulders.

And the courage seems to be coming through,
It always does.
I wish for strength enough to get it right.

Not possible

It’s alright,
Not being loved or looked after.
Because it’s just not possible,
That there’s nobody there,
Waiting to love you.
Knows your silent mouth,
Almost as well as you.

It’s just not possible,
That there’s nobody there,
Who loves you for the same reasons,
The one’s that you love yourself for,
Because you’re human too.

Dreams.

I have nothing to show,
Only my dreams
And a little hope,
And I know its right.

But the present fools the future,
And I’m living in the moment.
Reality fools my dreams,
But my dreams fuel reality.

And a part of my dreams,
Is to live my dreams.

High

I’ve lived a little life
Had a lot of fun.
Different kinds of fun.
Dancing in the rain,
Shining in the sun.
Playing my guitar,
And crying to the blues.

Fun, they have a lot.
But to live your life, they say,
You’ve got to hold a drink.
To lose yourself, they say,
Is clearly seeing everything.
You have fun with your consciousness,
But the world is huge you see,
Yourself isn’t enough.

When it gets out of your mind,
Do the kaleidoscopes disappear?
Does the honking still seem like music?
Can you still dance to Beethoven?

You’re back to you again,
The misery stays and smirks,
Coffee and aspirin always works.
Desperately trying to be someone
You were running away from.

Story Collector.

Nothing’s changed,
You’re still the same.
You aren’t worth much,
Without my stories.

I’d let you keep my stories,
If I meant more than them to you.

But it’s probably me,
I put you above my stories,
I put you above me.

Insecurity.

You return again and again,
You torture me every time,
You make me realise life,
How I’ll be inactive in death.
You let me know I’m living,
You’re my insecurity.

You force me to realise so much,
I let it go into death,
Kill myself slowly every day,
But realise I’m still alive,
And I look forward to dying.
You’re why I hate life,
You’re why I love life,
You’re why I’m alive.
You’re my insecurity.

I look for what you’re not,
I’ll, maybe, find what I’m not.
And I, still, will live.
I can only be insecure while I’m alive.
That’s what I need you to help me with,
Because that’s how I help myself.

Robotic Existence

I’m like a machine,
My life’s decided.
Everybody uses me.
They oil me every day.

I have a memory,
And I feed it every day.
No intelligence,
I can do nothing new.

I won’t believe you,
If I’m the first one you preach.
My idea of a revolution,
Is to suppress another one.

I’m a part of the system,
I insult it anyway.
It a convenient way,
To cry about my helplessness.

No emotions of my own,
I go by convention.
All my limited feelings,
Are because everyone has them.

I’m insecure if you’re strange.
I’m insecure if you question me.
I’m insecure with change.
My life is supposed to be risk free.

It's you or the world

They say the world appears better,
When the mind is joyous.

So when we met today,
With each passing moment,
Either your beauty grew,
Or the world ameliorated.
But we shall never know,
Because even if it’s the latter,
I probably didn’t notice …

Suicide Note

The frustration was pulling me down,
It should have been the other way round.

So here I am, rather was,
Explaining my end to you,
Or what came right before.

But if I leave it this way,
You will never know the reason.
Every time you think of me,
And how things could have been,
You’ll try to live as me,
You’ll imagine my every thought,
And why I didn’t make it.

My end will remain a mystery,
And the rest of me as well.
That’s exactly how it was.
Right before my end had come,
A mystery I was to me.

Tonight

A strange night it is tonight,
My apprehensions overwhelm me.
The loneliness from the past few weeks,
It seems to signify the end.

Tonight it ends,
This strange feeling inside,
The loneliness that causes it,
Or all the uselessness.

Tonight is when I’m reborn.
I won’t feel left out anymore.
I give myself to the world.
And tonight I make it mine.