Me and my friend were sitting outside the college gate yesterday, discussing life. Spirituality to be precise. We discussed having a guru and permanence. About seeking both. He said to me “The guru will find the student when the student is ready”. And we agreed just as we had when he said the same thing about a soul mate.
He told me how unsettled his mind had been for the past few days. He’d been thinking how temporary everything was. “Why should I do it if it won’t last?”
We talked about how permanent the present was, how uncertain the next moment was and how the past was like a dream. The now was all we had. Everything we talked about, the conversation, the mosquitoes, and the cars driving in and out of the gate; now they seem like parts of an act. And they’re all in the past now, the dream. I would feel the same way about the conversation if it had appeared to me in a dream.
Then we talked about observing the world. Observing ourselves. We talked about how everything could have been planned, how it was all destined to happen. But that could be said only after it had happened and become like a dream, a memory. Because the next moment is uncertain. So how could it be written before.
And then we talked about permanence. And again we said,” When we’re ready for it, it’ll be there. We needn’t seek it.” He said “Why should I do something for this moment, even though this moment is eternal, if it wouldn’t last the next moment”. Everything changes. If seeking permanence wouldn’t get it to us, then the next best thing to do was to seek the exact opposite of permanence. The temporariness of the present moment. And considering the availability of the present moment, it seemed satisfying enough.
We said good bye. I thought of the uneasiness he said existed in his mind and how he talked of becoming the permanence.
Then in the morning today, I realized. Only change is permanent. If we learn to accept change, we would understand permanence. And that we would have understood something that would exist long after we are gone. Even when we become a memory, like a dream. When we seem like we were terrific actors in a play. We changed with circumstances. We were what was changing. We were the change.
Where everything exists and doesn’t exist at the same time. Where all opposites meet and dualities cease to exist. Where everything unites. Just like death unites us all and everything loses significance. Where only change is permanent.
And as I finish what I’m writing, I realise, we didn’t talk about love. Any kind of love.
That makes all kinds of change acceptable.