Suicide Note

The frustration was pulling me down,
It should have been the other way round.

So here I am, rather was,
Explaining my end to you,
Or what came right before.

But if I leave it this way,
You will never know the reason.
Every time you think of me,
And how things could have been,
You’ll try to live as me,
You’ll imagine my every thought,
And why I didn’t make it.

My end will remain a mystery,
And the rest of me as well.
That’s exactly how it was.
Right before my end had come,
A mystery I was to me.

Tonight

A strange night it is tonight,
My apprehensions overwhelm me.
The loneliness from the past few weeks,
It seems to signify the end.

Tonight it ends,
This strange feeling inside,
The loneliness that causes it,
Or all the uselessness.

Tonight is when I’m reborn.
I won’t feel left out anymore.
I give myself to the world.
And tonight I make it mine.

Tough times.

They seldom come,
These tough times,
But when they do,
They play with our minds.
They show reality.
A glimpse of what could be,
If not controlled.
But the light times,
That lie within,
That show true bliss,
Are what should be.

They seldom come,
These tough times,
But when they do,
They open our eyes.
They show us our true calling,
Lead us to bliss.
These may be the darkest times,
But that’s when we see the light.
Put an end to all our slumbers,
Awaken us,
To fulfill our dreams.

They seldom come,
These tough times,
But when they do,
They change our lives.

Lost answers.

Where was the dreamer in you?
The birdwatcher.
You were taught about a bird’s flight,
And you stopped imagining what it’s like.
Why did you stop?
Please continue to dream.

Where’s the believer in you?
The rebel.
“You always want too much”, they said,
And you let them get to your head.
Why did you let go?
Hold on, they’re your beliefs.

When did you lose all that courage?
You brave heart.
The fear that you should have known,
Was always right outside your door.
You still can venture.
What’s keeping you inside?

Can you set your mind free?
Can you believe in yourself?
Can you do what you want to?

For Lighter Times.

Life’s a little difficult,
And I’m imagining things.
This phase will go by,
But I look beyond.

I wish I was travelling,
Or on a long drive,
On a bus into the woods,
Or on a train chugging south.

But here I am,
Stretching myself,
I know I must remain busy,
To enjoy my lighter moments.

Your strange world.

Well there you are again,
Crying comfortably,
On the shoulder of uselessness.
Comfortingly strokes you,
And puts you to bed.
But when you wake up,
You’re all the more scared.
Then doubt and temptation
Loom around like fake friends.
Do no good,
Just get on your nerves.

Then you question it all,
How unfair everything is,
And you can’t explain anything,
Even to yourself.

You thought you knew your world well,
And suddenly it’s a strange place.

The Illusion

A big illusion,
And lives change,
Some know the truth,
Can’t express their thoughts.
A fighter, a princess,
And the winner.

The observers cry,
Pass a smile,
Turmoil in their heads they hide.
They all want to be,
A part of what they’re not,
The big illusion.

To be inspired or not,
Or to miss the illusion,
When they return to their lives.
Not knowing that their lives,
Are illusions to others,
Another big illusion.

Can’t live those lives,
Only observe them.
Go back to theirs,
Is all they can do.
Wishing to live,
The illusion they saw.

The Brown Rose

She gave me a brown rose,
And told me to keep it,
Between the pages of my favourite book.
And I did.
It was fake.
As I shut the book,
And put it between the others,
It squished the petals,
And released the toxin.
It burnt the pages,
And spoilt the ink.
She’d vowed to take my pleasures away.

My Dream World

I don’t want to,
This isn’t my calling,
Success doesn’t lie here,
I belong somewhere else.

Where words flow out,
Free from the mind,
Free from the world,
Into human hearts.

Words that understand,
Express all emotions,
Make one comfortable,
The world worth living.

Where I can fly,
Like birds in the sky,
With no limits,
My imagination runs wild.

It should feel like home,
Some place I call my own,
Where I can still be at ease,
In the darkest of times.

Where I’m inspired,
Not just in bad times,
But in good times as well,
To express happiness.

This wonderful world,
I have in my mind,
But until it’s conceived,
I’ll have to return.